My Second of Everything


Second means being ranked number two
Or always being behind first
A first will appear and it is a law that second will come after
But was there a law that prevented Second from coming?


Second and I were not friends
Second came uninvited but my parents welcomed it
Second brought shame onto what could have been first
So why did I have to deal with Second?


English was my second language,
My voice shrank when the teacher called on me
I left my childhood friends in second grade,
All the students’ lunches were different from mine
I was only a second away 
From throwing away my first of everything 


My first language, I cherished and spoke proudly,
Never worrying about miscommunication 
My first friends I made when we were in Eden Preschool,
Eating delicious dumplings that we made on New Years
My first and only home I grew up 
In the town where I expressed everything in Korean 


But maybe it was the thought of missing my first that made me evilize Second


Years struggling later, it was then I started to notice 
Second to none showed me persistence  
Second chance revealed itself as a gift of what can be rewritten
Second-home was another comfortable place I took for granted
Revealing my other half of who I was 


I was blind because of my first of everything
It was my friend and family 
Second was seen as a foe because it was something new
I became stubborn about opening up to anything else


But in the end, our lashes and battles extinguished  
The enemy became more than an ally
It was sooner or later 
I finally welcomed my second of everything